chapter27.1

Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine.

He had a dog-and-pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows.

I loved to watch Pete train new dogs for his act.

I noticed that the moment a dog showed the slightest improvement, Pete patted and praised him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about it.

That's nothing new. Animal trainers have been using that same technique for centuries.

Why, I wonder, don't we use the same common sense when trying to change people that we use when trying to change dogs?

Why don't we use meat instead of a whip?

Why don't we use praise instead of condemnation?

Let us praise even the slightest improvement.

That inspires the other person to keep on improving.

In his book I Ain't Much, Baby—But I'm All I Got, the psychologist Jess Lair comments:

"Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it.

And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise."

Can't you say the same thing about your life?

I can look back at my own life and see where a few words of praise have sharply changed my entire future.

History is replete with striking illustrations of the sheer witchery raise.

Use of praise instead of criticism is the basic concept of B.F. Skinner's teachings.

This great contemporary psychologist has shown by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is minimized and praise emphasized,

the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for lack of attention.

John Ringelspaugh of Rocky Mount, North Carolina, used this in dealing with his children.

It seemed that, as in so many families, mother and dad's chief form of communication with the children was yelling at them.

And, as in so many cases, the children became a little worse rather than better after each such session—and so did the parents.

There seemed to be no end in sight for this problem.

Mr. Ringelspaugh determined to use some of the principles he was learning in our course to solve this situation.

He reported: "We decided to try praise instead of harping on their faults.

It wasn't easy when all we could see were the negative things they were doing; it was really tough to find things to praise.

We managed to find something, and within the first day or two some of the really upsetting things they were doing quit happening.

Then some of their other faults began to disappear.

They began capitalizing on the praise we were giving them.

They even began going out of their way to do things right.

Neither of us could believe it.

Of course, it didn't last forever, but the norm reached after things leveled off was so much better.

It was no longer necessary to react the way we used to.

The children were doing far more right things than wrong things."

All of this was a result of praising the slightest improvement in the children rather than condemning everything they did wrong.

This works on the job too.

Keith Roper of Woodland Hills, California, applied this principle to a situation in his company.

Some material came to him in his print shop which was of exceptionally high quality.

The printer who had done this job was a new employee who had been having difficulty adjusting to the job.

His supervisor was upset about what he considered a negative attitude and was seriously thinking of terminating his services.

When Mr. Roper was informed of this situation, he personally went over to the print shop and had a talk with the young man.

He told him how pleased he was with the work he had just received and pointed out it was the best work he had seen produced in that shop for some time.

He pointed out exactly why it was superior and how important the young man's contribution was to the company,

Do you think this affected that young printer's attitude toward the company?

Within days there was a complete turnabout.

He told several of his co-workers about the conversation and how someone in the company really appreciated good work.

And from that day on, he was a loyal and dedicated worker.

What Mr. Roper did was not just flatter the young printer and say "You're good."

He specifically pointed out how his work was superior.

Because he had singled out a specific accomplishment, rather than just making general flattering remarks, his praise became much more meaningful to the person to whom it was given.

Everybody likes to be praised, but when praise is specific, it comes across as sincere—not something the other person may be saying just to make one feel good.

Remember, we all crave appreciation and recognition, and will do almost anything to get it.

But nobody wants insincerity. Nobody wants flattery.

Let me repeat: The principles taught in this book will work only when they come from the heart.

I am not advocating a bag of tricks. I am talking about a new way of life.

Talk about changing people.

If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact to a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than change people.

We can literally transform them.

Exaggeration? Then listen to these sage words from William James, one of the most distinguished psychologists and philosophers America has ever produced:

Compared with what we ought to be, we are only half awake.

We are making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources.

Stating the thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits.

He possesses powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use.

Yes, you who are reading these lines possess powers of various sorts which you habitually fail to use;

and one of these powers you are probably not using to the fullest extent is your magic ability to praise people and inspire them with a realization of their latent possibilities.

Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.

To become a more effective leader of people, apply …

Principle 6—Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."