chapter9.3

She showed Mr. R----- about the house, and he expressed his hearty admiration for the beautiful treasures she had picked up in her travels and cherished over a lifetime -

paisley shawls, an old English tea set, Wedgwood china, French beds and chairs, Italian paintings, and silk draperies that had once hung in a French chateau.

After showing Mr. R----- through the house, she took him out to the garage.

There, jacked up on blocks, was a Packard car—in mint condition.

"My husband bought that car for me shortly before he passed on," she said softly.

"I have never ridden in it since his death. …

You appreciate nice things, and I'm going to give this car to you."

"Why, aunty," he said, "you overwhelm me.

I appreciate your generosity, of course; but I couldn't possibly accept it.

I'm not even a relative of yours.

I have a new car, and you have many relatives that would like to have that Packard."

"Relatives!" she exclaimed.

"Yes, I have relatives who are just waiting till I die so they can get that car.

But they are not going to get it."

"If you don't want to give it to them, you can very easily sell it to a secondhand dealer," he told her.

"Sell it!" she cried.

"Do you think I would sell this car?

Do you think I could stand to see strangers riding up and down the street in that car—that car that my husband bought for me?

I wouldn't dream of selling it.

I'm going to give it to you.

You appreciate beautiful things."

He tried to get out of accepting the car, but he couldn't without hurting her feelings.

This lady, left all alone in a big house with her paisley shawls, her French antiques, and her memories, was starving for a little recognition.

She had once been young and beautiful and sought after.

She had once built a house warm with love and had collected things from all over Europe to make it beautiful.

Now, in the isolated loneliness of old age, she craved a little human warmth, a little genuine appreciation - and no one gave it to her.

And when she found it, like a spring in the desert, her gratitude couldn't adequately express itself with anything less than the gift of her cherished Packard.

Let's take another case: Donald M. McMahon, who was superintendent—of Lewis and Valentine, nurserymen and landscape architects in Rye, New York, related this incident:

"Shortly after I attended the talk on 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' I was landscaping the estate of a famous attorney.

The owner came out to give me a few instructions about where he wished to plant a mass of rhododendrons and azaleas.

"I said, 'Judge, you have a lovely hobby.

I've been admiring your beautiful dogs.

I understand you win a lot of blue ribbons every year at the show in Madison Square Garden.' "

The effect of this little expression of appreciation was striking. "

Yes,' the judge replied, 'I do have a lot of fun with my dogs.

Would you like to see my kennel?'

He spent almost an hour showing me his dogs and the prizes they had won.

He even brought out their pedigrees and explained about the bloodlines responsible for such beauty and intelligence.

"Finally, turning to me, he asked: 'Do you have any small children?'

“‘Yes, I do,' I replied, 'I have a son.'

" 'Well, wouldn't he like a puppy?' the judge inquired.

" 'Oh, yes, he'd be tickled pink.'

" 'All right, I'm going to give him one,' the judge announced.

He started to tell me how to feed the puppy. Then he paused.

You'll forget it if I tell you. I'll write it out.'

So the judge went in the house, typed out the pedigree and feeding instructions,

and gave me a puppy worth several hundred dollars and one hour and fifteen minutes of his valuable time largely because I had expressed my honest admiration for his hobby and achievements."

Claude Marais, a restaurant owner in Rouen, France, used this principle and saved his restaurant the loss of a key employee.

This woman had been in his employ for five years and was a vital link between M. Marais and his staff of twenty-one people.

He was shocked to receive a registered letter from her advising him of her resignation.

M. Marais reported: "I was very surprised and, even more, disappointed, because I was under the impression that I had been fair to her and receptive to her needs.

Inasmuch as she was a friend as well as an employee, I probably had taken her too much for granted and maybe was even more demanding of her than of other employees.

"I could not, of course, accept this resignation without some explanation.

I took her aside and said, ‘you must understand that I cannot accept your resignation.

You mean a great deal to me and to this company, and you are as important to the success of this restaurant as I am.'

I repeated this in front of the entire staff, and I invited her to my home and reiterated my confidence in her with my family present. "

Paulette withdrew her resignation, and today I can rely on her as never before.

I frequently reinforce this by expressing my appreciation for what she does and showing her how important she is to me and to the restaurant."

"Talk to people about themselves," said Disraeli, one of the shrewdest men who ever ruled the British Empire.

"Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours ."

Principle 6—Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.

In a Nutshell—Six Ways To Make People Like You

Principle 1—Become genuinely interested in other people.

Principle 2—Smile.

Principle 3—Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle 4—Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Principle 5—Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

Principle 6—Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely.